Oh Ellen, I felt so many of these words...

For me, people not showing up and forgetting about our plans, raises up the fear of abandonment and being left behind.

Honestly, treating yourself to some pizza to cope was probably one of the best things you could do. The warm, cheesy goodness was probably a source of comfort and it sounds like, in the end, helped stabilize you.

Sometimes it doesn't matter how good of an excuse others have. When you are triggered, you are triggered, and it takes a long time to come down.

Happy you are better now.<3