You've got so much happening in your world, Michele! Wow! I've never been the parent in this situation, but I have been the child. Parts of it were great, other parts were very hard. Having regular conversations/check-ins will benefit you and your daughter greatly.

And just a side note because I am a clean freak too and my partner isn't: try the 24-hour rule. If in 24 hours, something still isn't picked up or put away, then kindly ask them to do it (or do it yourself). It's hard at first, but I started doing this with my BF and he feels much less attacked and nit-picked. The truth is, non-clean freaks don't always notice things as quickly as we do and sometimes need gentle reminders.